You never know what tomorrow brings so be ready for anything, and everything.
Wow! I haven't been on here in a long time, and I thought I should give everyone an update on whats goin on in my life. First of all, thank you to everyone who followed my blogs, and left me wonderful comments that I really appreciated. Those of you who followed my story know that I was going through a tough time, and I really wanted my ex boyfriend back. When I first met him, I had never loved anyone before and he was just the most amazing person I'd ever met, and I could never picture myself with anyone else. Then I got my heart broken when his best friends told me he'd been cheating on me I didn't want to believe it, so I went to his house to talk to him about it, and ended up walking in on him and another girl in his room. For the longest time, I blamed myself for him cheating on me. I realize that I wasted so much time being sad over him and wandering what I could have done to keep him from doing that, but honestly there's nothing I could have done! He did a shitty thing, and I did absolutley nothing to deserve that and I couldn't have done anything to keep it from happening. Shit happens!
After what seemed like forever, he eventually apologized for what he'd done to me, and I was so fucking happy. We started talking more, and tried to build up are relationship again. But I realized that I was the only one trying, and that just wasn't going to work out. I told myself I didn't need him anymore, and tried my best to move on. Eventually, it didn't hurt as bad to think about him as it did before and I started talking to one of my guy friends that I had known for a long time. I was scared to like him though, because I still couldn't see myself with anybody but my ex. It took me awhile to start liking him, and what surprised me is that I liked him alot. And I thought that just maybe he was exactly what I needed.
I didn't talk to my ex for a long time then one day, he called me and invited me to a party he was having at his house. I went, and I had a great time with him. I realized a few things that night! I wanted him to be in my life, but we didn't have to be in a relationship. He was the first boy I ever loved, and I am never going to forget him. Most importantly I realized I would be okay without him and for once I really believed that, and still do :)
I know now, that my expectations for our relationship were way to high. I mean, he cheated on me! What the fuck was wrong with me when I thought he could change. Once a cheater, always a cheater! I've grown up alot since then, and I know that relationship would have never lasted. It was eventually going to fall apart even though I never saw it coming at the time. He's still one of my favorite people ever, and I talk to him every now again. We talk about all kinds of stuff, including his new relationship.. which is something I never thought I would be able to talk to him about. But I'm very happy in my new relationship also, and I'm taking things a little slower this time and I've learned not to expect anything, but just to let things happen.
Writing this blog helped me alot!
I'm over him! And I'm happy with that, and I'm so happy in my life.
P.S. I've thought about not blogging anymore, but I've decided I'm not going too.
I'm going to cutsey up the blog, and keep blogging about my new relationship.
Please keep following!
thisismylife_lexi@yahoo.com
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